Monthly Archives: March 2011

Vulnerability and shame

To heal shame takes vulnerability.  If you don’t believe you are worthy it is hard to be vulnerable.  However, if you acted as if you were worthy and went forward, great healing would happen.  You would be vulnerable and that is what it takes to make strides in healing shame.  Do it- do what you feel you need to do to take the next step in your freeing yourself from shame- even if you are painfully vulnerable!  It will be worth it in the long run..

Why do I focus on shame?

I was working in a sexual addiction unit and found so many lovely people who were unable to get recovery. I wondered what we kept missing. I realized that until you can sit in the presence of yourself and love yourself as you are, you will act out in addictions, or truly struggle in life. So, I began my search for what keeps us in the struggle, and realized it was shame.
Shame is developmentally in place at a very young age. It is often in place before language.We don’t have common language for shame so many people do not identify with having it. However, my belief is that most, if not all people are identified with a false self, a negative self, an egoic self. Identification with this false self keeps us from having peace in life.
So, I focus on shame because I believe without healing our shame we will always struggle.
Seems like a good enough reason for me.