In the healing of shame it is quite helpful to learn our rights. One right that I an encouraging people to claim is: I have the right to be myself.
Let me back up a bit. Growing up is where we learn what either builds our self esteem or doesn’t It can be a bit threatening in a family system or school system to truly encourage a child to be themselves. It is easier to maintain order and the illusion of control if I try to cubby hole you. Then I can teach you in a way that will funnel you into being a certain way. To truly encourage a child to develop their natural abilities and strengths can leave the family or school without the resources of skill sets to really support the child in the way that best fits for them.
So, we can often be left having yearnings or dreams that don’t get met. Part of healing shame is to notice where we have holes in our learning and begin to consciously fill in the holes . If you notice you are doing something that just does not fit for you and truly want something else, you can begin to work with your inner self and give self the message:”You have the right to be yourself.”
I grew up in a home where my mom was a teacher. I went to college and became a teacher. Too bad I didn’t get to be a student teacher before the end of my degree, because it turned out it just was not what I wanted to be. It took me awhile to really acknowledge this and to begin to open to what it was I really wanted to do.
I believe my fulfillment in life has been much deeper because I switched professions and allowed myself to do what I felt my inner guidance directed me to. My Dad said to me once, “you picked the one profession I know nothing about!” So, if I had waited for him to steer me in the direction of psychotherapist and public speaker, it wouldn’t have happened.
I have the right to be myself!